...

i've been thinking alot .. today. about stuff. stuff which makes my life complicated


i've gone through some photos here in my pc. anlaki ng difference. ng change. ng development. ng turn-out. most unexpected and unwelcomed changes.


noon pinaplan ko mga bagay na gusto ko gawin. at meron pa akong "discipline" nun.


RECENTLY. nawala na yung plan at disciplne na yun

hindi ko alam kung pano, or bakit, or kelan ako magbabalik sa dati pa... or kung mababalik ko pa sa dati ang dating sarili ko.. all i know is...

i have changed. [ at isa yun sa mga mga pinaka stupeed na nangyare sakin]


i dont want to blame someone. i dont want to be a type of a person who blame things to others. ayokong nanunumbat. at lalong di ako dependent.


pero now...


humihina ako.


i need someone to hang on.


maraming dumating. lately. for me to hold on to. but i was too stubborn to realize that they were there. i was sooo absorbed on something to notice that.


umabot na ako sa point na tinake ko na ag skul ko for granted. halos umaasa na lang ako sa iba sa mga assignmnts ko.


there are too many reasons out there. reasons why I should be happy. why I should smile. why I should laugh.


and out of those many reasons... something stands out.


xa yun. [ at alam kong napaka stupid ko. dahil nagkakandarapa ako sa isang tao na hindi ko nga alam kung nag kicare sakin.]


nag-sstand out xa. dahil xa ang rason kung bakit ako naloloka ngaun. :(


i should admit it to myself. this isn't something shallow. this is BIG.


at ngaung mag 14 na ako. gusto kong mabago yung mga nagawa kong mistakes nung 13 pa lang ako. and God please help me.